Dear Diary

It's been two months since my last confession.... And I'm finally back in biz. 

I separated from my Master, we're only playmates now. That's fine for the both of us. 

I thought I had it figured out, that I would start dating someone until I found the right one..

WELL, that's put on hold. Having socialized more with kinksters and experienced more, I'm not intentionally going into a loving one-to-one relationship right now, not unless it's someone willing to share. (Yeah yeah, eventually I wanna settle down in a monogamous relationship, don't even need much kink, I think.) I'm not excluding "meeting the one and falling in love", but searching for the one consciously isn't on just now.

So I view this as a very experimental phase. 

Quite recently, all in one night, I got some experience with a lot of my kinkthings at the same night.

Exhibitionism. Ok, so nudity is a natural thing for me. I like to be naked. I like my body better sometimes, when it's not held by too-tight jeans-waists, or the colour doesn't quite suit me. I like my body. One thing is to be open to sharing your body to a sexual partner, however casual, something quite different is to put yourself in a situation where everyone, not in your control, can see your body in positions you probably wouldn't choose as «first positions to present yourself to others in». And displaying parts you may have wanted to keep to yourself. The thought about displaying nudity has turned me on for quite some time. I've been naked in front of a camera once or twice, and always enjoyed it. So in my head, that qualified as "exhiitionist".
Turns out... I AM. Without too much details, I was flashing genitals, boobs and legs, without any other means of hiding than the ability to say "ok, let's stop this"... which I didn't. Cause I wasn't uncomfortable.I was truly enjoying myself. Enjoying myself because I was living the dream (having someone take care of you in different ways when you're tied up is just undescribable) 

And I was really enjoying the fact that someone was watching. Watching but not participating. Both active watching, as in "you just lie there, I'm gonna watch these two have fun with you", and more accidental watching (people entering and leaving the room, no wrinkled noses, no smirks or weird remarks.) There was a voice in my head that said "Normal people woukld have least TRIED to get out of this situation"... At one point I was looking over at Him, to see if he enjoyed the show he was witnessing. 

And the feeling that those surrounding me actually enjoyed "taking care" of me. That's something I didn't take for granted. I figured they were just pleasing me.

Spankings: ..I've been spanked by a girl for the first time!! Both with a flogger, a pussyslapper and bare hands. Barehanded spanking is just so thrilling. Nothing wrong with being spanked by men who knows their way around a flogger, but there's something about girls....I don't THINK I am a masochist, but then again, I've only had warm-up flogging and some barehanded spanking done. I have so far been too much of a coward to try anything else. But I want to :) 

I feel like I'm a bit too enthustiastic right now. Lets flip to bondage, shall we?

Bondage? Totally my thing. From having someone tying your hands and holding on to the rope, demonstrating that they can do whatever they want with you, to having ropes all over your body (I think the term is body harness?), and finally suspended from a hook in the ceiling, with absolutely no control, and trusting that one person who tied you up to know what they're doing... Oh swell :D

So now I'm searching for skilled rope-Masters/Mistresses, Someone to Dominate me, or show me a good time through pain. If such a creature exists (which they do, according to masochists)

Hello K-Kitty :)

I just found the best picture for my blog....
Thanks to Malcolm D from Fetlife :)

Sticks and stones, love...

Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me
So tie me up and put me down and show me that you like me...


Wanted to blog about things that excites me.
As I have mentioned, I might not be a masochist. My treshold when it comes to pain is pretty high. I wince, but it takes a lot to make me scream. But that doesn't mean I get a kick out of it. Still, I'm ever curious, and not done with this matter yet.

Bondage... well, I like being tied up. I'm sceptical when it comes to suspension, so I'm putting my foot down there. But giving someone else the control of me.. I like the idea of that. And the actual doing it :)

What I really wish to learn more of is teasing. How to be spanked, tickled,  and in other ways teased until I'm so horny I'm begging for it with tears in my eyes, that's a dream to me.

There's also a concept of forced orgasms. Ok, I'm hard to satisfy. I can "come" a load of times without actually having the BIG orgasm. My problem is when I'm horny I'm way to wet and less sensitive.... But if someone found the trigger to make me come... and then tried to make me come again... that would be... I think painful, cause I know how overly sensitive I get after the big one... but it would still be thrilling. I think :P

I also wish for fisting... turns out it's REALLY hard.... and I don't expect it to work if the hand is too big.. But the orgasm I experienced when we tried once. Let me just say, I just turned myself on now, just by writing about it!

Then there's the big "being spanked until it actually feels thrilling"-adventure. When your endorfines kick in to make the pain go away. It happened once. I had no idea it could happen, but suddenly my scream of pain was mixed with a scream of surprise and.. pleasure? Still not sure. And if I have to go through all that pain to experience it again... I'm not sure I want to... But there's a teeny tiny voice that says "...wants..." in the far corner of my brain.

I've been a very very bad girl.... and a little bit good...

Well, it's been... 2-3 weeks since my last confession... I'm very sorry! Meant to do this every week, or after every new kinky experience.. or simply a sexy experience...
I promised I would write about my experience from my first ever BDSM home party. I went there with my Master, not knowing anyone. Came there with my collar on and left the underwear at home, so I was naked underneath my cute little dress.
Came home with BRUISES on my ass. Not just a faded red or blue colour, but with marks after lashes, blue and deeper blue and red.

And I'm still not sure I'm into being spanked. As it happens, the bruises were mostly sponsored by a fellow sub female with sadistic tendencies. I was kind of asking for it, just wanted a little taste, I gu ess.. But it was little more than tasters. Her Master was a much better spanker than her. But then, she turned out to be the one to see my need for being dominated. She just took me by my collar and led me out into the hallway. I love it when people do that. Just take charge of me. It's not the pain so much as the authority of being "handled".

I have had jobs where I had to be in charge...And I'm pretty much like that in private too. But sometimes, and especially in these situations, I just want to be forced, Not hurtfully, just strict and with determination.

Oh, did I mention, at the end of the night, after my Master had gone to bed, the dominatrix-sub had me over a table in the hostess' livingroom whipping me with an audience? I may or may not be a masochist, but I'm SUCH an exhibitionist. (Was still wearing my dress, not to worry, there were rules for nudity, after all)



Now, to the being-good part.

I am losing my addiction to something I have had problems with a long time. The infamous drink called Coca Cola. This little sub wants to be fit and healthy, so my Dom and I agreed that I should report to him, through my blog, if I've been good... And I have :) Today is December 10th, and I haven't had a drop of sparkly, caffein-infused goodness for 10 days. :)


I confess I've had sex in the last 10 days. It was with my ex again. And it was better than the last time.

I also confess I have sex planned for tomorrow. For someone who wants to be my lover... but whom I have yet to meet... Wish me luck! After what I gather, he is a little kinky, too....Yes, dear diary, it's a man :P

On the road to...kinkyness?

Now, the background for this blog is that my Master demand I write a sexblog.
And I can see how that's benefitial for both of us. Partly sexpartners, definitely close friends, new to the BDSM-scene, never girl/boyfriend., living some distance apart from one another.

My first assignment is to write about my latest "adventures". Now, my Master and I, we're not exclusive. He calls me a slut. By definition of one of my friends slut means "someone with a healthy relationship to her own body and sexuality". I am definitely a slut.  So, it only fits that I have other sexual partners. I'm not a player, I'm just comfortable, enjoying being attractive to others, which I don't take for granted.

So... Last Thursday, I had offered my hospitality to a friend of mine, a girl I once used to date. She needed a place to stay, and I had no problems offering her a spot in the bed next to me. I looked forward to sharing bed with her. Did I think I was getting laid that night? No. Hoped. Imagined. But that was also a thing I didn't take for granted. She lives her life now, I live mine.

She offered me a massage, for letting her stay there, and I wasn't very hard to convince.
Then lights out, and oh so naturally we spooned each other, our underwear still on. Some light kissing on the neck, not overly sexually, more cuddly, told me I wasn't wrong to imagine that this could happen. So when I kissed her, it was like every other time I had kissed her.

I used to tell her she had a Magister-degree in getting me to heaven. That's what regular sex with the same partner for months do to a girl (oh, the luxury!). This time it was over way to quickly, I was kind of wanting more. She was very satisfied with her orgasm, and slept very well that night.

I was satisfyed, but not quite. My demands has only grown stronger since we were a couple. She used to give me so much more than this, but that's when we had time, were lovers, when the sex was the focus, not just urge-driven. This time, I was happy that she'd come, that I almost had fallen asleep holding her again, just as friends, but close as ever. And the attention you get from someone during sex... that they take the time to appreciate your body, your scent, your (in some cases) taste. And sounds. For every moan I made, she had her replying happy sigh.



Till next time, yours humbly, KinkyKitty