...But I don't feel like a sinner. On the contrary, I feel lucky to be one of quite a few people worldwide who gets to live out her dreams. Getting to know more and more people through my local BDSM community leads me to think that there's a LOT of kinksters out there. BUT... considering how many people we are in this world, I think we're still some of the select few who gets to explore our sexuality.
Since my last confession I've mostly been out of everything to do with sex. And to do with BDSM, save for a few munches, public and private.
You know that bench I told you about, to which I was strapped and tickled? I was strapped more tightly to it when I got to experience a truly great female sadist's work. It was just a paddle, and her hands and fingernails doing some work on my butt and tighs, but it still turned out to be a long session, it left me kind of dizzy, and not at all scared to try out more. We had to stop because it was late and her wrists started to hurt... Not because I couldn't take anymore. Oh, how I felt my buttcheeks blush for the next hour.
My other cheeks didn't blush, even though I had a little audience. It's an extra spice for me.
I left this session thinking I was still just curious. Curious about that cane she used on my friend, but not on me.... What kind of pain would such a thing produce?
I found out recently. Different place, much the same people, but this time two female sadists instead of one. Not mainly sadists. And not really experienced (at least that what they said). Just two cute girls that I had made plans with. After almost a month of nothing kinky whatsoever, sitting in front of my computer trying to produce an exam, dreaming of a repetition of that night with that girl sadist helping me get some stress relief....
Finally I got some! Lying on my stomach/boobs on a flat bench, having my legs tied to the bench, out on each side, and my hands lied out in front of me, I got that nice feeling of ropes again. But my attention and desire was mostly on some spanking. There was a cane in the room as well. I told one of the cute girls she could try that if she wanted.
It started with just her and me. Half an hour previously I had kneeled by her legs, her sitting on the couch in the crowded party home. A short while later she had me over her lap very carefully spanking my jeans-clad butt with her hand, and a shoe-horn. She got braver and tougher on me after a bit, there was one moment I almost drooled on her skirt. I think I've read somewhere that drooling is a sign of relaxation. I was. Confident and relaxed.
Ok, back to that bench. Two sweet girls on each side of me, each with a riding whip in their hand, smacking my behind, no longer in jeans. Stroking, tickling and cupping it, smacking some more. Stroking and biting a bit on my bared back.
And then... "take a deep breath!" *breathing in* "WHACK".... one hard stroke of a whip, forcing a lot of noise out of me, not really close to "ouch". That was supposed to be the last whack before releasing me and letting me out into that open door into the rest of the party (yeah, I had an audience again, I have no idea if anyone was actually watching, or if all they got from it was the sounds, I don't care).
Anyway, I think I must have somehow, inaudiably let my jockeys know that I was curious for another one of those "deep-breath-ready-yourself-for-pain"-kind of whacks. So the princess asked me: "Wanna try that again?" ... and I nodded, I think.
I had a few more of them, always getting some time to rebound.... and then we had to leave the room to others. Once again I was dizzy, and just wanted to cuddle.
"So, you're not a masochist? Yes you are!"
"No, I take that back, you're a PAIN SLUT!"
I don't know.. I guess I'm not just curious anymore. I've progressed to a place where I can differentiate between pain I like and pain I dislike (which also translated to the right and the wrong side of a horse whip). And here we are, two days later, and I'm all "they just started with the good pain, could that have brought me back to that endorphine rush I experienced?" (See the "Sticks and Stones, love"-post for more on that).
I don't know, but I had a really good time, and I think I'm getting addicted to this kink-business :)
Yours Truly, KinkyKitty the MaybeAMasochistAfterAll
Ingen kommentarer:
Legg inn en kommentar